What If Microsoft Built Cars
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Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you’d have to buy a new car.
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Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason, and you’d have to restart it. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this, restart and drive on.
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Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you’d have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this too.
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You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a “Car 95″ or a “Car NT”. But then you’d have to buy more seats.
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Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive – but it would only run on five percent of the roads.
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The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower.
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The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single “General Car Fault” warning light.
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People would get excited about the “new” features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for many years.
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We’d all have to switch to Microsoft gas and all auto fluids but the packaging would be superb.
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New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
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The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.
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If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
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They wouldn’t build their own engines, but form a cartel with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it.
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There would be an “Engium Pro” with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most existing roads.
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Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes. Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use existingstuff.
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Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don’t own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars free, including IBM!
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If you still ran old versions of car (ie. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive much faster, and on more roads!
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If you couldn’t afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrow your friends, and then copy it.
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Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize the ignition for a few days before it worked.
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You would need to by an upgrade to run cars on a motorway next to each other.
I often google about stuffs when i dont have anything to do(or even if i have, well it still doesnt matter). And this is so cool HEHE..
Ominater replied:
Haha, this made me laugh! Great article
November 9, 2008 at 1:15 PM. Permalink.